The Pretty Little Girl, With the Pretty Little Curl ...

From the time I was a little girl, I always wanted a daughter. My mother would hold me in her lap and sing, "pretty little girl, with a pretty little curl .. right in the middle of her forehead." That motherly lap was warm, soft, so loving. It was a safe place and my relationship with my mother was sweet and special. She was my best friend. More than that, she was a lady I trusted, respected and the thought that anything I said or did ever hurting her in any way was something that would rock me to my core.

It began very young really. Painfully, I became a single mother when my baby girl was just 13 months old. I was forced to have to put her into day care while I worked. I moved near my mother and father and had their help as much as they could. I first noticed Lynn was being treated differently than the other children at the home-based day care. My mother first pointed this out to me. My mother helped me out by picking Lynn up for me when I had to work late. Or, I would ask my mother to go and get Lynn so that she wouldn't have to be stuck in a day care environment so much. My mother pointed out to me that every time she went to pick Lynn up from day care, Lynn was the only child sitting, strapped in a high chair while the other children were permitted to run around and play.  The thought of this occurring with my sweet, young child hit me in my gut. My mother picked Lynn up at various times of the day and noted this on several occasions. I too began to notice that this was occurring and questioned the woman running the day care. She explained to me that Lynn was very hard to manage and this was how she could secure her safety.

I immediately withdrew Lynn from this environment and moved her to another facility that was NOT in someone's home.

I think back now ... and I understand that intricate pattern that is who Lynn is. Why couldn't I have been given a guide book at her birth. One that would help me protect her from people and situations like this. One that provided sources for environments that would have been more conducive to her needs?

Lynn was a very active, busy little girl. Always singing and dancing around. From the time she was 6 months old and began to speak words, she never stopped. She was a constant source of companionship and entertainment for me. We sang every song we heard and even made up a few of our own. Nineteen years later..we are still singing our songs together.