My initial reaction was that of a mother. A deep sense of loss and sorrow. My heart breaking for those parents, and families who lost that day. I can’t begin to imagine the depth of the grief.
My very next reaction was that I wanted to scream from the top of a building. I wanted so much to be heard. I use this blog as my forum to state my perspective based on years of experience as a mother raising a child diagnosed with behavioral disorders.
I heard it yet again, innocent comments. Comments from people in the community that have no way at all to begin to appreciate what it takes to parent a child with behavioral disorders. These people say things like, “these people just need more discipline. They need a strong parent who will be stern with them.” I just cringe, this is such an innocent statement, especially coming from someone who really just has no idea. It is much, much more complicated than that. When you are parenting a child who is unaffected by any and all forms of discipline, no amount of “sternness” or “strong parenting” will be successful. You must enlist the help of trained mental health professionals. Then begin the years of tireless and repetitive interaction in a very specific way with that child. No stern voice, no amount of “time out”, no consequence is going to affect the behavior your child needs to exhibit to be successful in his/her relationships.
People are so quick to judge. So quick to call the shooter “evil”. Yes, the act was evil. But remember, the shooter was human just as you and I are. The shooter obviously had many things going on with him that needed serious attention. Where was the help for him? How does this American society so intently dismiss these individuals? There is a void in our system. At which point in time in our history did we begin to simply ignore the needs of these unique individuals? We are now being forced to see them. But unfortunately, we are labeling them as demonic and evil. That is because evil has been allowed to seep into them through our lack of compassion. The demons have been permitted their reign over them because we refuse to reach out, to get them help; to provide the help, the system, the education, a safe place for them to heal.
There needs to be residential treatment for all of these individuals. Something that is provided through special funding, charitable donations, etc. A safe place, one that is non-threatening to them. There needs to be one of these in every major city throughout our country. The stigma of mental illness needs to be minimized because a very large percentage of our population lives daily with some form of mental illness.
If we as an American society continue to ignore these people, if we continue to move about our lives and continue to allow them to fall between the cracks, we will continue to experience a great deal of pain for it.
WAKE UP!!!! These horrific acts are designed to get our attention so that we may come together as a society, enact the change we need to see in the world and prepare a place to get help, guidance, love and support for those among us who suffer so greatly in silence.
As for the mother of the shooter. I understand her struggle. However, I am deeply, disappointed that she would introduce firearms into the situation. This was ignorant and irresponsible on her part. If she wanted to have firearms at her property, it was imperative that they be stored in a manner that only she could access them. But with a child, an adult, or any person who resides at the property that has been diagnosed with or exhibits any form of mental instability, it should have never been brought to his attention that firearms were even present on the property. People with mental instability, even under the best of circumstances when they are stable, can be suddenly unpredictable. This mother should have known better. She let her guard down and paid the price first with her own life and then with the lives of many, innocent others. She had a responsibility to society with this son of hers. She had a duty and obligation to make sure that in every way she possibly could to protect her son from himself, and in turn to protect society from him. The local law enforcement should've been aware of his condition. There should've been a family therapist involved, and much more...
This goes back to my earlier point that MORE education, MORE guidance for mentally unstable individuals in a safe and non-threatening way is desperately needed or I am afraid .. we will all continue to suffer.
As for the mother of the shooter. I understand her struggle. However, I am deeply, disappointed that she would introduce firearms into the situation. This was ignorant and irresponsible on her part. If she wanted to have firearms at her property, it was imperative that they be stored in a manner that only she could access them. But with a child, an adult, or any person who resides at the property that has been diagnosed with or exhibits any form of mental instability, it should have never been brought to his attention that firearms were even present on the property. People with mental instability, even under the best of circumstances when they are stable, can be suddenly unpredictable. This mother should have known better. She let her guard down and paid the price first with her own life and then with the lives of many, innocent others. She had a responsibility to society with this son of hers. She had a duty and obligation to make sure that in every way she possibly could to protect her son from himself, and in turn to protect society from him. The local law enforcement should've been aware of his condition. There should've been a family therapist involved, and much more...
This goes back to my earlier point that MORE education, MORE guidance for mentally unstable individuals in a safe and non-threatening way is desperately needed or I am afraid .. we will all continue to suffer.
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