If you are reading this blog for the first time, to best understand the sequence, please click on "2007" on the right and scroll down to the bottom post entitled, "In the beginning..." then read from that post up.
Jeb, Lynn's new love interest, had pushed his way into her life and then into our family. Smug, defiant, disrespectful, this young man was as mysterious as he was obvious. Never a straight answer about his past or even his present for that matter. He wouldn't or more likely, couldn't even look me in the eye. He was amused about how he and his "buddies" would go down to the street in town where they knew or assumed street walkers frequented and pitch raw eggs at the women. This is who Lynn chose to force on her family? I injected questions into my conversations with Jeb; "Do you go to school? Did you graduate high school? If so when, where? Where do you attend college? What are you taking in college? Why do you have an arrest record? Where do you live? Who are your friends and what do they do?" Every question was answered with lies, elaborate lies. I wanted to believe at first because his presence in our lives seemed semi-permanent like a bad tattoo. The answers to these questions would prove to be more profoundly twisted than the web of lies that were woven. I was appalled that this young man was spending time with my daughter, that he was in my home and around my younger daughter. I was annoyed and then I felt violated when he would blatantly ignore our rules of no visits during the school week. Jeb would come to the house so frequently especially when my husband was out of town and then he would refuse to leave. There was a history of abuse in the form of neglect and quite possibly more at play in Jeb's past. There was an obvious cycle in motion that he had no choice but to repeat.
There was something bubbling up from the muck of deceit and defiance. Lynn and Jeb formed a world all their own. They bought into the fantasy. It was difficult to discern, was it Jeb's influence on Lynn? Or was he really a helpless victim who fell prey to her seductive and manipulative ways. I almost felt sorry for him, but then I realized that he was feeding her manipulation without even really knowing exactly what he was creating. I warned him that he was messing with something he couldn't possibly understand. The grand fantasy that is so text book with BPD (borderline personality disorder) was centered on Jeb but he was really just a pawn, insignificant, yet undeniably culpable, he was the tool that was used by the manipulation that brews inside Lynn.
"I F****NG HATE YOU!!!! I HATE MY FAMILY I WANT YOU ALL DEAD AND I HOPE YOU ALL ROT IN HELL!! EVERY ONE OF YOU!!! I KNOW HOW TO DO IT TOO!!! I DON'T NEED OR WANT MY FAMILY ANYMORE!!! I CAN DO EVERYTHING, HAVE EVERYTHING WITHOUT YOU!!! IN FACT, I AM GOING TO BE UNBELIEVABLY RICH!!! WHAT'S THE MATTER? YOU *****!!! YOU CAN'T EVEN SIT IN THE ROOM WITH ME...THAT'S RIGHT RUN AWAY. LOOK AT THE WAY YOU MAKE ME ACT!!! LOOK AT ME!!! I LOOK LIKE I'M A CRAZY PERSON RIGHT NOW THANKS TO YOU!!!!"
Click...the handcuffs were snapped on. The chief of police and two detectives escorted Lynn through the doors of the mental health hospital. She was immediately placed in a level I unit. It was a new facility, private, expensive. She was placed deep within the facility, behind three sets of thick, double, bolted doors that only staff had the keys and codes to access. There was a nice courtyard with a sand volleyball court..surrounded by a very tall, chain-link fence with triple razor wire spiraling like a fanciful necklace draped around the building. The cafeteria was stocked with almost whatever the patients could imagine they would want to eat.
I later learned what the "Baker Act" means. A mentally challenged person must present, in front of witnesses an imminent threat to herself or others. The intake coordinator at the hospital said she fit the classic traits required to admit her for observation for at least three days. Upon further evaluation, they determined her to be an imminent threat to me at the very least and then also to her younger sister. They would not even allow me to see her for two full days. They said she was behaving in a violent way and I was her target. They administered Geodome. She went to sleep and when she awoke with a start as she often does, she jumped out of bed, she passed out cold. No food that day as she refused to eat and the Geodome, a very powerful drug overtook her small frame. The nurses caught her before she hit the floor. Then they called me with the update. It sent a chill through me to think what she was experiencing..to think what she was capable of yet also so vulnerable. I would later learn that her vulnerability was in large part due to her deep seated fear of being alone. (Reactive attachment.) This side of her in the younger version manifested itself in the form of tantrums. Now, she is turning into a young woman and the battle of her hormones with her chemical imbalances was more vicious, more intense and more threatening than ever before.
[A person may be taken to a receiving facility for involuntary examination if there is reason to believe that he or she is mentally ill and because of his or her mental illness: (1a) The person has refused voluntary examination after conscientious explanation and disclosure of the purpose of the examination; or
(1b) The person is unable to determine for himself or herself whether examination is necessary; and
(1b) The person is unable to determine for himself or herself whether examination is necessary; and
(2a) Without care or treatment, the person is likely to suffer from neglect or refuse to care for himself or herself; such neglect or refusal poses a real and present threat of substantial harm to his or her well-being; and it is not apparent that such harm may be avoided through the help of willing family members or friends or the provision of other services; or
(2b) There is a substantial likelihood that without care or treatment the person will cause serious bodily harm to himself or herself or others in the near future, as evidenced by recent behavior.
(2b) There is a substantial likelihood that without care or treatment the person will cause serious bodily harm to himself or herself or others in the near future, as evidenced by recent behavior.
The Baker Act was considered by many persons around the country as landmark
legislation at the time of its enactment. The movement to deinstitutionalize
persons from large mental hospitals back to their home communities became
prominent since the 1970’s and many newer psychiatric medications have made
it possible for persons to avoid or reduce the need for long-term hospitalization.
Since the passage of the Act, the rights of individuals to live freely and without
the same degree of deprivation of liberty has been more accepted by the public.
The Baker Act has been continuously revised to recognize these trends and to
protect the rights of persons with mental illnesses.]
**History of the Baker Act – It’s Development and Intent
State of Florida Department of Children and Families Mental Health Program Office
Florida’s Baker Act Website – May 2002 http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/programs/samh/MentalHealth/laws/histba.pdf
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When we were finally permitted to see her, she looked so pale and so thin. I couldn't contain my emotion and I just hugged her and kissed her forehead. I whispered in her ear just as I had done so often before when she was a baby, a toddler, a young child..."I love you my sweet girl." The therapist assigned to her case sat stoic..her eyes almost appeared to be accusing me of something. Lynn showed no emotion. She sat down and fixed her gaze on me..just as stoic. I don't know what to feel..do I feel sorry for myself that once again I am rejected by this daughter? Do I feel sorry for her that she lacks any empathy at all for the pain she exacts on me so surgically? Do I feel ashamed that in some way..many ways, I must've failed as her mother? Helpless, self loathing..pitiful and unworthy. These are the feelings that circle around in my own psyche.
Could I have possibly read up more on anything, everything that could be at play here to help her..to help me help her? All the years of therapy, the many, many different doctors, social workers, teachers, family, friends, residential treatment schools. All the university scientific position papers, studies..and countless hours deep in prayer...no answers...only more questions...
The psychiatrist at the mental health hospital where Lynn resided called me and my husband in for a meeting. He told us that nothing out of her mouth was the truth at this time. She was living in some wild fantasy and that she had, "...built a castle in the sky and she has bought it and moved into it." He further told us that she was surrounded by people who were influencing her in very bad ways. That he said with the path she was on, that she would more than likely be in jail or dead within two months. There are few words that are more terrifying to a mother. Devastatingly scared, I was determined to do everything I had to do to save her. Even if it meant sacrificing myself in the process.
Lynn's behavior continued to become more erratic. Her attitude more defiant. She began to have ideas that she never expressed before. Ideas like that she didn't need or even want her family anymore.
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