There is so much to be understood about Bipolar disorder. All the time, I thought the worst! I feared so much that my beautiful first-born child suffered from "mental illness." That she was "psychotic." Us mothers, we have such a heavy burden. Yet, our desires are so very simple. All we want is for our babies to be healthy and our children to be happy. We fear for anything to be wrong. We begin the worrying while our babies are in the womb...it never ceases. I would not accept the something was seriously wrong. As the symptoms increased, I began to search for some answers. I was looking for some help. I hoped and prayed the solution would be simple. Maybe a change in diet? Maybe it had to do with my parenting style? Did she suffer some unknown trauma?' The search became a quest to really find the truth; anything just so I could help her, help our family cope. Speaking with the experts over the years, the psychiatrists, the licensed-clinical-social-workers, the therapists, the clinical psychologists, no one could explain exactly what we were dealing with. No one except for the clinical psycholgist we found in Smyrna, GA. Dr. Cooper has been in practice for more than 35 years. Needless to say he is very experienced and knowledgeable. Many of his patients are very much like Lynn although no two are just alike. He is the only one who has been able to provide at least a logical and educated explanation. He has been calm and gentle and very professional. He believes in Lynn. He continues to be interested in her care and long-term prognosis even though she is no longer in his care. He says that he doesn't need to see her anymore, that the tests he used to complete the full-psychological-evaluation fully diagnosed what is going on in Lynn's head. Dr. Cooper explained to me that she is not mentally-ill; Lynn simply has a chemical embalance. With the right combination of medications (and this will change as she grows), and with regular counseling..and he said that even this will decrease over time, Lynn will have a very full and productive life. All my fears that Lynn was "mentally-ill" were incorrect. What does this mean? I will never be forced to make the decision to put her into a long-term care facility. I have belonged to several support groups. This is a decision that faces others who deal with various other and very serious illnesses.
I am not perfect. I make mistakes. I tell Lynn this. I also tell her that I love her with my whole heart and soul and that all my efforts for her and her sister's health, safety and happiness are the primary reason I exist.
Lynn is back home for the summer. It will be a good one. She is awake now and I must go and spend some time with her.
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