An Introduction to the "Baker Act" / MAY 2010

First, I would like to say thank you so very much for taking a moment out of your busy life to spend a little time with me.  The past 18 years of my life with Lynn have been a an unending tide of turmoil and emotional highs and lows.  Like a symphony orchestra moving us with all it's deep, dramatic notes from intense, gripping emotion, into the playful dance of grace and peace.  A real life story, Lynn's emerging array of mental disorders have sent me into a path that has oftentimes left me alone and in deep despair.  Many days I cling literally to life, pushing away snares of evil, holding the comfort of the love and companionship of family and friends.


If you are reading this blog for the first time, to best understand the sequence, please click on "2007" on the right and scroll down to the bottom post entitled, "In the beginning..." then read from that post up.


Jeb, Lynn's new love interest, had pushed his way into her life and then into our family.  Smug, defiant, disrespectful, this young man was as mysterious as he was obvious.  Never a straight answer about his past or even his present for that matter.  He wouldn't or more likely, couldn't even look me in the eye.  He was amused about how he and his "buddies" would go down to the street in town where they knew or assumed street walkers frequented and pitch raw eggs at the women.  This is who Lynn chose to force on her family?  I injected questions into my conversations with Jeb; "Do you go to school?  Did you graduate high school?  If so when, where?  Where do you attend college?  What are you taking in college? Why do you have an arrest record?  Where do you live?  Who are your friends and what do they do?"  Every question was answered with lies, elaborate lies.  I wanted to believe at first because his presence in our lives seemed semi-permanent like a bad tattoo.  The answers to these questions would prove to be more profoundly twisted than the web of lies that were woven.  I was appalled that this young man was spending time with my daughter, that he was in my home and around my younger daughter.  I was annoyed and then I felt violated when he would blatantly ignore our rules of no visits during the school week.  Jeb would come to the house so frequently especially when my husband was out of town and then he would refuse to leave.  There was a history of abuse in the form of neglect and quite possibly more at play in Jeb's past.  There was an obvious cycle in motion that he had no choice but to repeat.


There was something bubbling up from the muck of deceit and defiance.  Lynn and Jeb formed a world all their own.  They bought into the fantasy.  It was difficult to discern, was it Jeb's influence on Lynn?  Or was he really a helpless victim who fell prey to her seductive and manipulative ways.  I almost felt sorry for him, but then I realized that he was feeding her manipulation without even really knowing exactly what he was creating.  I warned him that he was messing with something he couldn't possibly understand.  The grand fantasy that is so text book with BPD (borderline personality disorder) was centered on Jeb but he was really just a pawn, insignificant, yet undeniably culpable, he was the tool that was used by the manipulation that brews inside Lynn.


"I F****NG HATE YOU!!!!  I HATE MY FAMILY I WANT YOU ALL DEAD AND I HOPE YOU ALL ROT IN HELL!!  EVERY ONE OF YOU!!!  I KNOW HOW TO DO IT TOO!!!  I DON'T NEED OR WANT MY FAMILY ANYMORE!!!  I CAN DO EVERYTHING, HAVE EVERYTHING WITHOUT YOU!!!  IN FACT, I AM GOING TO BE UNBELIEVABLY RICH!!!  WHAT'S THE MATTER?  YOU *****!!!  YOU CAN'T EVEN SIT IN THE ROOM WITH ME...THAT'S RIGHT RUN AWAY.  LOOK AT THE WAY YOU MAKE ME ACT!!!  LOOK AT ME!!!  I LOOK LIKE I'M A CRAZY PERSON RIGHT NOW THANKS TO YOU!!!!"


Click...the handcuffs were snapped on.  The chief of police and two detectives escorted Lynn through the doors of the mental health hospital.  She was immediately placed in a level I unit.  It was a new facility, private, expensive.  She was placed deep within the facility, behind three sets of thick, double, bolted doors that only staff had the keys and codes to access.  There was a nice courtyard with a sand volleyball court..surrounded by a very tall, chain-link fence with triple razor wire spiraling like a fanciful necklace draped around the building.  The cafeteria was stocked with almost whatever the patients could imagine they would want to eat.


I later learned what the "Baker Act" means.  A mentally challenged person must present, in front of witnesses an imminent threat to herself or others.  The intake coordinator at the hospital said she fit the classic traits required to admit her for observation for at least three days.  Upon further evaluation, they determined her to be an imminent threat to me at the very least and then also to her younger sister.  They would not even allow me to see her for two full days.  They said she was behaving in a violent way and I was her target.  They administered Geodome.  She went to sleep and when she awoke with a start as she often does, she jumped out of bed, she passed out cold.  No food that day as she refused to eat and the Geodome, a very powerful drug overtook her small frame.  The nurses caught her before she hit the floor.  Then they called me with the update.  It sent a chill through me to think what she was experiencing..to think what she was capable of yet also so vulnerable.  I would later learn that her vulnerability was in large part due to her deep seated fear of being alone. (Reactive attachment.)  This side of her in the younger version manifested itself in the form of tantrums.  Now, she is turning into a young woman and the battle of her hormones with her chemical imbalances was more vicious, more intense and more threatening than ever before.

**The "Baker Act."   Involuntary Examination (FL Statute 394.463) Defined by the Florida Mental Health Act

[A person may be taken to a receiving facility for involuntary examination if there is reason to believe that he or she is mentally ill and because of his or her mental illness: (1a) The person has refused voluntary examination after conscientious explanation and disclosure of the purpose of the examination; or
(1b) The person is unable to determine for himself or herself whether examination is necessary; and

(2a) Without care or treatment, the person is likely to suffer from neglect or refuse to care for himself or herself; such neglect or refusal poses a real and present threat of substantial harm to his or her well-being; and it is not apparent that such harm may be avoided through the help of willing family members or friends or the provision of other services; or
(2b) There is a substantial likelihood that without care or treatment the person will cause serious bodily harm to himself or herself or others in the near future, as evidenced by recent behavior.

The Baker Act was considered by many persons around the country as landmark 

legislation at the time of its enactment.  The movement to deinstitutionalize 

persons from large mental hospitals back to their home communities became 

prominent since the 1970’s and many newer psychiatric medications have made 

it possible for persons to avoid or reduce the need for long-term hospitalization. 

Since the passage of the Act, the rights of individuals to live freely and without 

the same degree of deprivation of liberty has been more accepted by the public.  

The Baker Act has been continuously revised to recognize these trends and to 

protect the rights of persons with mental illnesses.]

**History of the Baker Act – It’s Development and Intent 

State of Florida Department of Children and Families Mental Health Program Office 

Florida’s Baker Act Website  – May 2002  http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/programs/samh/MentalHealth/laws/histba.pdf

###

When we were finally permitted to see her, she looked so pale and so thin.  I couldn't contain my emotion and I just hugged her and kissed her forehead.  I whispered in her ear just as I had done so often before when she was a baby, a toddler, a young child..."I love you my sweet girl."  The therapist assigned to her case sat stoic..her eyes almost appeared to be accusing me of something.  Lynn showed no emotion.  She sat down and fixed her gaze on me..just as stoic.  I don't know what to feel..do I feel sorry for myself that once again I am rejected by this daughter?  Do I feel sorry for her that she lacks any empathy at all for the pain she exacts on me so surgically?  Do I feel ashamed that in some way..many ways, I must've failed as her mother?  Helpless, self loathing..pitiful and unworthy.  These are the feelings that circle around in my own psyche.


Could I have possibly read up more on anything, everything that could be at play here to help her..to help me help her?  All the years of therapy, the many, many different doctors, social workers, teachers, family, friends, residential treatment schools.  All the university scientific position papers, studies..and countless hours deep in prayer...no answers...only more questions...


The psychiatrist at the mental health hospital where Lynn resided called me and my husband in for a meeting.  He told us that nothing out of her mouth was the truth at this time.  She was living in some wild fantasy and that she had, "...built a castle in the sky and she has bought it and moved into it."  He further told us that she was surrounded by people who were influencing her in very bad ways.  That he said with the path she was on, that she would more than likely be in jail or dead within two months.  There are few words that are more terrifying to a mother.  Devastatingly scared, I was determined to do everything I had to do to save her.  Even if it meant sacrificing myself in the process.


Lynn's  behavior continued to become more erratic.  Her attitude more defiant.  She began to have ideas that she never expressed before.  Ideas like that she didn't need or even want her family anymore.

Descension into Mania

If you are reading this blog for the first time, I will provide a brief summary to you.  To best understand the sequence, please click on "2007" and scroll down to the bottom post entitled, "In the beginning..." then read from that post up.

The life I live is surrounded by family members who live in a personal torment of various personality disorders centered around Borderline Personality Disorder.  This devastating condition has it's grips on my oldest daughter.  I live with the manipulation, the anger and the uncertainty of this condition every day.  My husband and younger daughter are also affected.

It has been a little more than two years since I have checked in with you...so much to tell...so much chaos..then calm..followed by the worst two weeks of my life. I just experienced pain and torment I wish on no other human being much less a mother.

I'll take you back to the spring of 2008. Lynn had just come home from boarding school to learn that the family will be transferred...yet again...and we are going back to Orlando, Florida.

A recent written account of the mental anguish this caused Lynn was found in her room. I was there sorting through the chaos that had collected in her drawers, under her bed, on bookshelves, and inside containers and compartments. She places things significant and otherwise in a random pattern throughout her room...her space whether that be her room or her bags. The shifting pattern of her personal effects weave a subtle story about the workings of her mind...a map of the daily inconveniences and little victories of a beautiful young lady with an emerging discovery of personality disorders.

The following is an excerpt from a paper she wrote for a college English class while dual enrolled in High School.

October 2009:

The title of the paper is: "Pill By Useless Pill"

[The stress of moving at first was extremely subtle; only because I thoroughly enjoyed starting over and creating a new feel for myself and my surroundings. However, as I grew older and friendships seemed to mean more to me, moving got harder. Making new friendships wasn't as easy as it had always been. I found myself in a hole of misery from overwhelming stress, and it had washed over me and my life like an unending inconvenience.

I would have to establish all new friendships and then mere weeks or months later, the brown boxes would pile in the front door of my home and just as quickly they were carried right back out to venture to the next house that I ideally would call my home. From the age of six weeks old to now, I have moved a grand total of eleven times. Each move was special in it's own extent. ....Being on medication brought me down further into despair. It seemed as if my anxiety medication wasn't working to it's fullest. So instead of one, I started taking two. Two little, white pills once a week turned into two pills every two days. Finally, I was to the point of taking two pills a day. I felt like I could not handle the emotional stress of not having friends due to my lack of interest in being in a specific place. It seemed unfair that I had to be in such an imposition when everything in my life was just as it should have been. My previous coping methods were non-existent as I swallowed multiple pills each day.

My insecurities brought out the absolute worst in my personality. I pushed away the friends I had in [the last location we resided] because I figured that if I were never to see them for a long while, what was the point in even talking to them? I needed a friend then and there, not then and elsewhere. I went from a happy, energetic, loving and caring person to a negative, insecure and extremely unsatisfied kid.]
~LB

This is a note I found in her room carefully drafted on a single sheet of white paper:

"The truth that many people never understand, until it's too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer, because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt."
~LB

Lynn wrote the above in crayon. She used two different colors. The bold and colored words above were drawn over multiple times...like they were shaking on the page...

As for the paper she wrote, entitled, "Pill By Useless Pill", I can see the hidden truths and a glimpse into her psychye. Some of her paper was obviously exaggerated and she would more than likely agree that it is...however, there are some very deep truths that dive into the torment and mental anguish she experiences with her Bipolar/Borderline mind. There is a deep seated trauma that exists in her brain. Only she can reconcile this trauma while I as her mother must stand by and watch her suffer...helplessly.  Her traumas stem from what most of us would consider normal life challenges.  But for Lynn's brain, the events seared into her psyche causing residual damage not even she can comprehend.

We as a family would experience a brief period of a semblance of calm and normalcy peppered with brief and somewhat normal, teenage outbursts, lasting from September 2008 through June 2009.  Beginning July 2009..everything would change for us..forever.

Papa was very ill and very likely imminently dying.  Papa, my father, played a very integral part in Lynn's life.  A very early bond formed between these two from Lynn's infancy.  That bond was sealed upon my divorce from Lynn's father when she was just 12 months old.  Lynn became like my father's baby.  A unique connection between them began to form and then grew through the years.  As the struggles with Lynn and her many disorders became more and more challenging, their relationship strengthened.  When I went to my father for help and advice about my ongoing struggles raising Lynn, he was quick to blame me and only me, calling into question my mothering frequently.  The self doubt and deep wounds of self loathing as her mother stabbed at me with his remarks.

Papa fell very ill with the discovery that his bladder cancer metastasized to reveal itself as a large tumor in his liver.  My father turned 80 in September and left this world on October 24, 2009.  The loss was beyond devastating to me personally..the affects on Lynn were shattering.

The call came mid summer 2009.  It was the voice of my father at the end of the phone line.  "They have found a spot on my liver..it's nothing really..just a spot..I'll be fine."  He always said, "I'll be fine.."  He was not fine and the next few days turned into weeks of watching the cancer slowly and very insistently take the life of my father.  With this loss I was left hollow and knowing that there would now be a void, a piece of me forever gone that would never be filled.  It took my breath away, I have now lost a very great love of my life.  The man responsible for bringing me into existence is now no longer in his physical body.  How can my life go on without him?  How can the electrical impulses in my body continue to fire and breath life into my soul without this man, my father?

It was shortly after the death of my father that I learned that Lynn's own, biological father made contact with her.  Many years earlier, he had hired an attorney and signed a witnessed statement that he wanted to relinquish his rights and terminate child support.  He contacted her through Facebook.  He proceeded to tell Lynn that he left me, her mother, the woman who had raised her, for another woman during a series of affairs he conducted throughout our marriage.  What sort of a person tells this to a 16-year-old young lady?  And after more than 15 years of abandonment?  Lynn suffered deeply from this revelation mostly because she was disappointed in the person he is.  She asked him, in writing to leave her alone permanently.

As if all of these devastating life blows weren't enough for a young girl, especially one who already suffers from her own brand of self doubt and self loathing...Lynn begins to bring into the fold new, more dangerous behaviors and her attitude shifted.

January 2010..Lynn had a new love interest in her life.."Jeb."  Jeb initially entered the picture June 2009.  As her mother, I quickly nipped this new interest in the bud and forbid her to see him.  I told this young man to stay away from my daughter, my family and my property.  My instincts told me he was bad news...my instincts never fail me.  By Christmas time, Lynn was sneaking around meeting this young man.  What has she injected into our lives this time?  Jeb would introduce a poison into our family that would have a devastating impact and would permanently alter our family dynamic.  Innocently enough..I feel that perhaps somewhere deep in his diabolical mind he knew..but lay victim in his own illusions.

It was an infiltration through the mind, body and psyche of our Lynn that would rock the foundation of who we are as a family and result in a grave unfathomable loss.

Lynn suffered extreme stress from the pressure the demands of the bad boyfriend, the demands of her work as Design Editor of the award winning yearbook for her high school and a new job.  The side of her that was raised by a loving family with guidelines and boundaries wreaked havoc inside her with the boyfriend who was telling her that parents, the police, her teachers basically anyone in an authoritative position are "stupid".  For someone who suffers from the challenges Lynn faces, the pressure was too much.  The descent into the manic phase she experienced as a result was sad and was avoidable.  The people that come into her life and then fall under her spell fail to see who she really is and how to help her.  Unfortunately, it will be a pattern that will be repeated as she moves into adulthood.

The next blog entry will outline in detail the drama that unfolded in the next several months that involved not only our infamous, Windermere Police but also a lock down mental health facility, court appearances and a permanent no trespass against Jeb.  The course of Lynn's life takes a turn that cannot be undone.

A Delicate Bond

I have heard it from more than one source. I have an uncanny bond with Lynn. (Don't mistake my words. My younger daughter and I also are very close and very affectionate with each other.) But it is different with Lynn. It has never been really affectionate..from a very early age...months old, not even walking yet, Lynn would bristle at affection. She would literally push me from her as I was holding her. As she grew, she would not give hugs and would pull away from the attempts at affection; a hug or a kiss. Yes, I would still kiss her..I would sneak into her bedroom at night while she slept and cover her forehead with kisses, smooth her hair with my hand and whisper a tiny, "I love you, beautiful child."

Then she grew some more, and the storms of her illness became wild and fraught with intesity. I locked into her mind. Perhaps in an oh, so desperate intent to understand her, to help her..to love her more despite my own feelings of angst. I could engage into her and sense her emotions, what was traveling through her mind at light speed. I could feel it more than see it. Here it comes, an "episode" as we call them. This one is an angry one. She is 11 years old and I pick her up from school. She fixes her icy glaze on me and the fury begins.

I anticipate her every action, word or deed even before she does. What is this connection? I know that mother's have a very special bond with their children, especially their daughters or so I've heard. I can only speak from the experience of being a mother of daughters as I have no sons. This connection is almost psychic; astral. It comes from my core. I can feel it. I don't think it goes both ways, or she hasn't revealed as such. I can sense what she senses. Maybe she does...sometimes it seems we are halves of the same person...not that she is me, rather that she is half me and half her and I am half her and half me. I understand her in a way that is not possible for anyone else to understand. I know when the tide of an episode...manic or depressive, begins to advance on her mind. I see it in her eyes...I can feel it in my bones. I know it before she or anyone else does. I am not always proud about how I handle it. I get angry. NO!!! "Lynn, what is wrong with you!? What happened? Did something happen today at school? Since you've been home?" "No mom", she says, "No, nothing is wrong with me, nothing happened." No, of course nothing happened. It is never what happened. It is ALWAYS, what happened after. My anger, while it seems is directed at her, it is aimed for the darkness that swells within her. Get away from my beautiful, sweet daughter! Where are her pills?! "Lynn, did you take your pill last night? Have you skipped any nights? Did you intend to take it but then layed it down somewhere like you did last week? Remember, it MUST be consistently in your system to work properly." When the meds are consistent, I have a beautiful, happy, healthy, well-adjusted daughter. When they are not, the darkness takes over.

Falling...figuratively and LITERALLY!!!

I fell down the full flight of stairs at my home Friday, February 8th. Yes, I fell..face first, down 16 steps. Maybe more like flew down. Day 2 of Lynn's return home..permanently from boarding school. I had a business appointment that morning. Amy, my younger child had a holiday from school. Therefore, both girls were home. Amy was right there, at her computer nook near the top of the stairs when it happened. I stepped out from the top step and lost my footing. In an instant I knew this would be really bad. I flung the laundry and cell phone I was carrying out of my hands and reached forward for the stair rails catching myself. However, the momentum had begun (you physics experts out there can explain this one). Forward I went, sliding with ONE hand (my right one) on the hand rail. I hit my left elbow, knee and chin on the lower steps. Amazingly, nothing was broken, including on my body. And thank God-I did not hit my head. Lynn was on the phone at the time speaking with her dorm mother about a few items she left behind and wanted to retrieve on her return Sunday to clear out her dorm room. Lynn heard the commotion, looked down and replied in a very non-chalant manner, "oh, my mother just fell down the stairs." Then she went into her bedroom and continued her conversation with her dorm mother. Amy, my very sensitive momma's girl, saw the whole thing happen, screamed and flew into her bedroom - where she would remain for the next hour - slamming the door, sobbing uncontrollably. BOTH of my girls are now in their rooms, and I am on the floor at the bottom of the stairs conducting a quick assesment of my condition. No permanent damage and I am about to be late for my appointment...so out the door I run!

Drama!!! Yes, I couldn't make this stuff up. I think I was in shock a little for a few hours because I couldn't stop giggling about it and my husband and my mother saw nothing funny at all about it. In fact I was laughing so hard I was tearing up...shock? Anyway, I was very sore the next several days on my right side where I grabbed the handrail and I think I may have bruised the bone on my lower left chin. This was the area that took the brunt of the fall. Otherwise, I am very lucky I didn't do more damage. **Next house...NO STAIRS!!!**

She's baaaack....

Yes, that's right. Lynn was going to flunk her freshman year if I didn't do something soon. The boarding school would keep her, but then they were more interested in their budget than the well being of my child...at least that is my opinion. I know they are in the business of young lives, but let's face it; it is a business. So, the best thing for Lynn for now was to bring her back home and enroll her in the local public high school. There she could play a little catch up and under my watchful eye. She will still need to attend summer school for 2 classes to pass her freshman year. I mandated several conditions to her return home. She must follow a schedule including time for chores, time for homework and time for social. Her computer usage was limited and I have her laptop installed at the kitchen table where I monitor everything she does with it. Additionally, when she talks on the phone, mostly to her boyfriend, Daniel, she is at the kitchen table where I monitor that conversation as well. She has been home for 4 weeks now. She has only had 2 "episodes". These involved unreasonable anger. They blew over in 24 hours and she returns to her sweet self. She continues to struggle with school. Since it is so late in year, she is unable to participate in any clubs or extracurricular. I will need to look for something outside the school for her. Let's visit the angry episodes for a moment; they come on without warning, not instigated by anything unusual and nothing can be said to her at all. She is totally unreasonable and irrational. No matter my state of mind or attitude, it is no affect and no measure to counter balance the seething anger she exacts on me. These times always call up the time she stated, "I feel angry and I won't stop until everyone around me feels the same."

More to follow in the next few weeks....

And what a difference a day makes….or in this case 24 days!

That is how long Lynn has been back to school. She is like a different child. Mature, balanced. Where did this come from?! It’s as if a switch went on in her head. Is this the Bipolar? A new phase to travel on this journey? I have prayed for this for most all her life. I have prayed that one day I would have that beautiful person I know she is..that I would have her back. And here she is! Since she has been back to school her grades are ALL up to As and Bs, well, all that is except for Spanish which she has a C in. But a high C. I told her I’LL TAKE THAT C!!! That’s great! That’s super because I know how hard she is trying! I know because I can feel it in my soul. I can feel it in that instant of a connection when I hear her teenage girl voice. Nothing has changed with her meds..Nothing at all! Not even the time of day she takes them! She has had one or two little tiffs with girls in her dorm but that is just teenage girl stuff..you know, those dreaded “girl wars” at this age. ((giggle)) She is such a delight to speak with on the phone. She calls me every day and she is always bright. I can hear the joy in her voice. Today, she is off to South Carolina for a swim meet. (She is a swim team manager. – She loves that too.) She is getting the extra help she needs for her Spanish class to bring that grade up and also for her Physics class to keep that grade up.

What is the lesson here? I am selfish because I know, these lessons are for me. There is some greater plan, someone is navigating unchartered waters and if I just give in to that plan and stop the struggle it will all become clear. It is said we live our lives for our children. This child has given me my life in ways she could never know.

A Series of Disasters...bring on the Xanax and a one-way ticket to an unknown, obscure island...

Where do I begin? I realized I had had enough when I couldn’t breathe…come on!!! BREATHE!!! Just one good breath…feeling dizzy, shaky, I have the feeling I want to scream!!! I want to run away, hide, I can’t take all of this…BREATHE!!! I can’t take a breath…pressure on my chest…I feel like coughing, dizzy.

Twice Thursday, January 3rd – I suffered full scale panic attacks.. Lynn was mixed up with a drug pusher at the local high school and a teenage convict in another state…these two teenagers (Lynn and her boyfriend, Daniel) won’t tell me what is going on. Lynn is shaky and in tears..she is at the therapist office..she told him a little about what is going on but not much. Lynn begged me to take her to see Daniel. Something about apologizing and she needed to see him in person. I couldn’t do it..I had commitments to others and appointments to make. She threatened to walk to his home 4 miles away and down a very busy street. I still didn’t take her…I had to honor MY commitments…I can’t let someone else down, miss an appointment because of her compulsivity. Breathe…the room is getting fuzzy and dim..I am sitting – I put my head back and all is quiet, dark and still - I am out…back in seconds – I catch my breath. I am out the door to my next commitment…two little girls attending a winter break camp. (My younger daughter and her friend.)

Lynn is failing out of her college prep boarding school. She has NEVER failed a class…never had anything less than a B+ on a report card – even a progress report! Why? Is high school that challenging? She is highly intelligent. She is perfectly capable of the completing work and effectively at that. I have spoken with her teachers…they say it is difficult to engage her in class. Her teachers report that even her class mates attempt to bring her back into focus during class. Frustration. I put so much effort, love, attention into this child. I am scared for her future; I am scared for her present! Why is she failing so completely?! What has changed in her life? Oh, the answer would come…the answer…Lynn is clinically obsessive compulsive. Should I be happy that her obsessions are seemingly innocent? She has been obsessed with food, she has been obsessed with counting rituals, and she has been obsessive in nail biting and biting at the skin on her fingers...and there have been other obsessions… Lynn’s current obsession: her cell phone. To the outside world this is just a typical teenager who loves to talk on the phone and send text messages right? That is what the friends and family say to me. Remember, Lynn is not typical. Lynn is Bipolar. She also is clinically obsessive compulsive and she is sociopathic. Put this together and it is a recipe for some serious consequences. Lynn’s text message bill was more than 1,000 pages. She sends on average 3 text messages per minute from 6:00am till midnight….

I later learn what it was that Lynn and Daniel weren't telling me. That a boy from Lynn's previous school and the one that Daniel currently attends has been contacting Lynn through text messages. His messages are vulgar and contain lewd pictures of himself. Lynn and Daniel were trying to handle it on their own. Eric, Lynn's father stepped in and paid a visit to this boy's home and spoke with his parents. We hope this is finally the last we will hear from this boy. The drama that ocurred between Lynn and Daniel was that Lynn became fascinated with this lewd boy and began engaging in a dialogue with him. This angered (obviously) her boyfriend, Daniel as he told her that this other boy was a bad kid and she should stay away from him. Daniel was so upset that Lynn would continue to speak with this other boy and almost broke up with Lynn over it. Thus the tears and anxiety from Lynn during her therapy session. Is she learning? She can only comprehend the immediate; the present. She doesn't comprehend the consequence or the affect of her actions. Together with her therapist we are trying to show her in a loving and non-threatening way how to recognize and evaluate her actions. The concept is so simple. Most people get it at a rather young age. This is Lynn's handicapp. This is how we try to deal with it. As her mother, I worry for her future relationships; family, career, etc..

Drama! So much drama when Lynn is home. Fast forward three weeks. Lynn has now been back at school for three weeks. It seems like such a short time, yet also so long. I miss her. Yes, you heard me right. She is my beautiful first born daughter and I love her. I miss her presence. I dream about her at night; that she is growing up and slipping away from me. When Lynn is home it is high frequency tension. But in some small, little way, it is also comforting to have her here…to have the family unit together in completion.

The drama of the holidays with Lynn at home…the consequence of her actions were to remove her laptop and to cut off her texting/pic messaging, etc. from her phone. Now she can only use her phone to make and receive voice calls…(old fashioned huh?). Almost immediately after losing her text messaging privileges; and I mean within mere minutes, Lynn was calm and content. Not even seeming to miss her text messaging privileges she was on to the next thing…seeing her boyfriend and packing for returning to school.

Lynn returned to her boarding school and was instantly happy and content. She dug right into the second half of the school year with the passion and drive I have seen in her before. Since returning, Lynn’s grades are all up in the A-B range. The class she failed last semester, she now has an A. She had one incident with another child in her dorm. However, after speaking with the dorm mother who spoke with both girls..it seemed that it was not at all something Lynn instigated. And furthermore, Lynn had many girls on her side defending her in the dispute – which was just a verbal girl fight that they do at this age. It still hurts my heart that these things happen, however, I must also remind myself that this is one of the reasons I have her there…to learn a life lesson about how to handle herself properly in these types of situations. She wouldn’t get this at home…just conflicts with her family which wouldn’t teach her anything about conflicts with her peers.

Lynn will come home in two weeks for winter break. I am looking forward to her visit.